Archive for May, 2010

May 23, 2010

OK, girls, listen up

Dear Meredith,

i like this boy at my school but he doesnt know i exsit. What can i do to make him notice me?

Sincerly,

*SHANAZIA*

Dear Shanazia,

I can’t tell you how much mail I get asking this question, or something similar. Let me tell you, darling, every boy is different. What draws this boy to a girl can be different than his friend. Humans are complicated beings, royal or not, so there isn’t a fix all answer. If there was, I would quit agenting, write a relationship book, and go live on an exotic island. I hear all writers are fabulously wealthy like that.

Instead, here are a few do’s and don’ts I’ve picked up from watching royals over the years:

DON’T be desperate. This includes wearing clothes that err on the trampy side–you want him to like you for YOU, right? It’s a balancing act between acting interested and trying too hard. Make sure you’re not wearing some invisible, flashing sign that says Like me! Like me! LIKE ME PLEASE OH PLEASE!

DO be authentic: No boy wants a girl who changes herself to be some cyborg she thinks the boy wants (and if he does, quick! Run away). Don’t pretend to like Nascar if you don’t. Don’t force yourself to eat bacon if it disgusts you. If you do have something in common, great, talk to him about it, but don’t fake it. Pursue your interests, your passions. When you are in your true element, people–boys included–will naturally be drawn to you. Also, highlight your good points, both inward and outward.

DON’T put yourself down. Some girls do this odd fishing-for-compliments thing where they say they’re fat or not pretty so that boys will say, “No! You’re beautiful.” Seriously ladies? Don’t make me hop in my bubble and come slap you. You’re wonderful. OWN IT.

DO be confident. This can take a lifetime to figure out. I myself wouldn’t mind hopping in my bubble and going back in time to give teenage Meredith a few tips. But it’s true–boys love a girl secure in herself. And here’s a secret–boys are just as insecure as us, they just show it in different ways. When they know you have some idea of who you are, it makes them less nervous to approach you. Just don’t overdue it and become witchy. I work with a girl like this. *cough* Lilith *cough*.

DON’T set your happiness on this boy. If you reek of awesome and this guy never sniffs it, that doesn’t mean you aren’t a worthwhile person. You don’t have to be liked to be likable. Don’t let one boy’s opinion define your worth!

DO be realistic. There are a million fish in the sea, darling. You might get along swimmingly with this one, and if so… fabulous! But if not, you’re young, you’re confident (remember?) and you have other things to do then worry about boys. If not, I’m sure your agent can find plenty.

Ta ta,

Filed under:Uncategorized

May 23, 2010

Hair Today

Dear Meredith,

Why is your hair green?

Love,

Sallie

Dear Sallie,

Sorry it took a bit for me to respond. You wouldn’t believe what my inbox looks like as of late. I could really use an assistant, but then I’d need to find someone willing to work my hours, who has at least half my mental capabilities and well… dream on, Meredith.

But! Here we are. And this is a very simple question to answer. My hair is green because, first off, GREEN IS FABULOUS. Far more fabulous than the oft-preferred pink and purple of the feminine world. But I believe you’re asking why agents in general dye their hair. Well, it’s actually a dye that can only be seen by someone with Magic Potential. Your average person on the street would only see my black hair. It serves as an identifier of sorts (you can tell a Facade dye job over a boxed disaster easy. And if you can’t, well, shame on you). It also serves as an, kind of like how sports teams wear the same uniform, we all dye our hair. Some of us just choose much more brilliant and bold colors.

Ta ta,

Filed under:Uncategorized

May 3, 2010

Bubble Business

Dear Meredith,

Where is your favorite place you have been in your bubble?

Cooper


Dear Cooper.

For confidentiality purposes, I can’t tell you the places I’ve traveled. If I did, you could easily narrow down the royals in that area and speculate on who my clients are. I HAVE been many fabulous places, of course, but never fully experienced many of them. As an agent, most of my time is spent at the agency or traveling in the bubble, not on location with the substitutes. And as for my subbing days, it’s hard to take in scenery when you’re so concentrated on not messing up the royal’s life. In short, it’s work, not leisure.

Fine, fine. If you’re going to pester, I will mention one. Iowa. I went there to pick up a sub, overshot a bit and ended up in a cornfield. All I saw forever was corn. A sea of it. And it was so… uncomplicated, so vast. I felt so alone, yet so complete.

Ahem. Wow, I need to get some sleep. Cornfields? Gibberish. Continue on…

Ta ta

Filed under:Uncategorized

May 1, 2010

Don’t let your moon eyes block out the light

Dear Meredith,

There is this boy I like. Every time I see him I get this dreamy look on my face where my eyelids droop and I stare at him.I’m afraid he will figure out I like him.

<3 Nicole W.

Nicole,

Ah, droopy eyelids. Please allow me to roll up my sleeves because, girl, sounds like you’ve got it bad.

There’s nothing wrong with liking boys, or even letting them know you do. What is really so bad about him knowing how you feel? I’m not suggesting you throw yourself at him (or any boy for that matter). But it’s perfectly acceptable to find opportunities to get to know him better. Why? Well, often that dreamy look can cloud your judgement. Are you seeing who is really there, or are you building him up to be someone he isn’t?  Strike up a conversation with him and see if he’s really worthy of your day-dreams. If he’s just a pretty face with nothing underneath, I suggest you open those eyelids and look around for another crush. If he is Prince Charming, try not to let those butterflies stop you from being yourself.

Ta ta,

Filed under:Uncategorized











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