Filed under: Uncategorized
May 23, 2010
i like this boy at my school but he doesnt know i exsit. What can i do to make him notice me?
I can’t tell you how much mail I get asking this question, or something similar. Let me tell you, darling, every boy is different. What draws this boy to a girl can be different than his friend. Humans are complicated beings, royal or not, so there isn’t a fix all answer. If there was, I would quit agenting, write a relationship book, and go live on an exotic island. I hear all writers are fabulously wealthy like that.
Instead, here are a few do’s and don’ts I’ve picked up from watching royals over the years:
DON’T be desperate. This includes wearing clothes that err on the trampy side–you want him to like you for YOU, right? It’s a balancing act between acting interested and trying too hard. Make sure you’re not wearing some invisible, flashing sign that says Like me! Like me! LIKE ME PLEASE OH PLEASE!
DO be authentic: No boy wants a girl who changes herself to be some cyborg she thinks the boy wants (and if he does, quick! Run away). Don’t pretend to like Nascar if you don’t. Don’t force yourself to eat bacon if it disgusts you. If you do have something in common, great, talk to him about it, but don’t fake it. Pursue your interests, your passions. When you are in your true element, people–boys included–will naturally be drawn to you. Also, highlight your good points, both inward and outward.
DON’T put yourself down. Some girls do this odd fishing-for-compliments thing where they say they’re fat or not pretty so that boys will say, “No! You’re beautiful.” Seriously ladies? Don’t make me hop in my bubble and come slap you. You’re wonderful. OWN IT.
DO be confident. This can take a lifetime to figure out. I myself wouldn’t mind hopping in my bubble and going back in time to give teenage Meredith a few tips. But it’s true–boys love a girl secure in herself. And here’s a secret–boys are just as insecure as us, they just show it in different ways. When they know you have some idea of who you are, it makes them less nervous to approach you. Just don’t overdue it and become witchy. I work with a girl like this. *cough* Lilith *cough*.
DON’T set your happiness on this boy. If you reek of awesome and this guy never sniffs it, that doesn’t mean you aren’t a worthwhile person. You don’t have to be liked to be likable. Don’t let one boy’s opinion define your worth!
DO be realistic. There are a million fish in the sea, darling. You might get along swimmingly with this one, and if so… fabulous! But if not, you’re young, you’re confident (remember?) and you have other things to do then worry about boys. If not, I’m sure your agent can find plenty.